Heraclitus

“The hidden harmony is better than the obvious one.”

When you’re a kid, everything seems so obvious and simple. You think you know everything about everything. You think you know exactly what life is about and what you want out of it. You think you know exactly what is going to happen and exactly what is going to make you happy. You think you know exactly what you need. And sometimes all the things you want and need when you’re a kid are still the things you want and need when you’re an adult…but sometimes they’re not. Sometimes all the things you thought were important and necessary and crucial to your existence when you were a kid end up being the complete opposite of what you want and need as an adult. Sometimes what you thought would bring you the most joy ends up bringing you the most pain. And sometimes what you thought would bring you the most pain, brings you the most joy. It’ll be two years next month since I’ve been divorced. Growing up, I always thought that being married and having a white picket fence was the essence of happiness and harmony. I never thought in a million years that I would get divorced or that I would be raising my son on my own. To most, a marriage appears so obviously harmonious and a divorce appears so obviously painful. That is how I looked at marriage and divorce as a child. I was certain, perhaps because my own parents divorced, that getting married and having kids was the answer to the riddle. But I’ve realized that it isn’t always what is obvious or what you think you want or need that creates harmony in your life. Sometimes it’s the thing you swore you would never do or the last thing you were looking for that brings you the most peace. Sometimes it’s what you think you don’t need that makes you the most happy. As I am sitting here at the computer typing, the song “Here Comes The Sun” by The Beatles just came on and it’s pretty fitting. I’ve been through a lot in the last couple years and I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not at where I thought I would be in my life and I am completely stressed out about school and work and taking care of my son by myself, but I’m also the most content and sure of myself that I’ve ever been. It’s pretty amazing what happens when you’re not trying to make something happen.